


A Hint of Lime

by elena_stidham



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Boys In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, In the beginning though it's completely skippable if you're not into that, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Poetry, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 07:11:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17678840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elena_stidham/pseuds/elena_stidham
Summary: Has anyone ever truly loved their first kiss?





	A Hint of Lime

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS FOR: A very faint element of PTSD if you squint. 
> 
> SONGS USED TO GET IN THE MOOD: Nothing for this, I was on the job lmao
> 
> So I was at work and bored out of my mind and so to kill time I was doing word searches, and one of the words I found was “kiss,” since it was Valentine’s Day themed. I then, for some reason, had a sentence just form and pop into my brain: “Has anyone ever truly loved their first kiss?” And then, I thought of Aslan. So alas, have this fic that I threw together in a few hours. Literally, the poem was thrown in last minute because I remembered a line in it and I realised how,,,it was perfectly Aslan. So yeah. There’s that too. It’s literally my favourite poem. Please cry over it with me. Oh, and support Natalie Wee. Also low-key based on kuchacchi/sevenflats’s art that inspired “I Did It, Eiji,” and then it got me thinking about the first time they ever really, truly kissed. I need to stop rambling I’ll stop I’ll stop.
> 
> My tumblr is elenastidham and in the bio there’s ways where you can support me my work. This is literally the most roundabout way I can talk about said methods of support, haha. Anyways. Thank you so much for reading this, and I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> -Elena

**reasons to not kiss him:**

  1. you weren’t raised to love tender.
  2. when he’s around all you do is tremble. when he’s around you want to get on your knees. look how much power he has over you. it’s dangerous.
  3. he’s too good at forgiving and you’re too good at violence.
  4. you know what they say about monsters. you know what happens to the boys who love them. are you going to do that to him?
  5. your hands don’t know how to be gentle. think about the last beautiful thing that shattered in your palms. the fresh rosebuds crumbling between your fingers like a bruise. you wolf-boy, you war machine. you wouldn’t know how to hold something magic and not destroy it.
  6. if you hurt him it might kill you
  7. if you hurt him you might kill yourself.
  8. you are very bad at rehabilitation. this is one addiction you’d fail to give up. he’s going to ruin you for all other kisses and all other boys and you’ll spend the rest of your life trying to forget his name.
  9. you still aren’t sure he isn’t a dream. 
  10. if you kiss him, you might wake up.



 

**reasons to kiss him:**

  1. because he’s beautiful. 
  2. because he asked. 
  3. because he preceded  _please_ with,  _i’m not afraid of you_.



 

—  _yes & no_ // [natalie wee](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwondersmith.co.vu%2F&t=M2FhNWFiOWY2ZGY2OTRmOWJmZjI4NWQ2NDI1NTYxZjE2YTU1MDcxZiwzQ1o4OGxkUw%3D%3D&b=t%3AliKkHh6q2kOXwrr9wly-nw&p=http%3A%2F%2Fpaintedrecs.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F134743174355%2Freasons-to-not-kiss-him-1-you-werent-raised-to&m=1)

 

 

They’ve tasted each other before – in a prison, behind closed doors, sharing a capsule that would end a man’s silent life. They’ve pressed together their lips and felt each other’s tongues in their cheeks; but this was not their first kiss.

At least, not to Aslan, anyway.

To Eiji, it was a kiss unlike any other. The secrecy was exciting, the capsule and change of overall character struck him with an intense surprise.

He has never been used to Ash switching himself so easily on a whim. Watching such acting would sometimes almost convince him that this was how it was in the first place, but Aslan is never there. There was a lynx hiding in the fake lust of his eyes, and in that brief moment of this prison he made he had shot a look to Eiji with such a fire that it screamed boundlessly across his skin and echoed off the depths of his core.

This was not a kiss to Aslan.

He is used to those kisses that would simply take what he would refuse to give. He is used to moments in bed where he has to close his eyes and project himself somewhere so very far away. If his spirit was in that room, it would completely shatter.

There is no room for trauma in the mind of a boy in the mafia.

But now God brings him Eiji – a simple boy from a simple life whose kisses probably taste of an arrangement of heaven’s berries. Aslan is so soft for this boy. He is so trapped and happily caught in love with a boy who is only serene.

Aslan does not kiss him. Eiji will break if Aslan kisses him. He would be tainted. So he does not taint him.

It’s a simple fact that a monster is a monster and the word monster does not belong anywhere near Eiji. Ash Lynx is a monster. But Ash Lynx is not in love with Eiji. Ash Lynx is not the same broken boy as Aslan Callenreese.

Aslan is in love with Eiji, and Eiji is in love with Aslan. This fact is one in the same, and Ash Lynx has nothing to do with the two of them. At the same time, he has everything to do with them.

It’s the same love, then. The same love from some man.

Eiji never asks to kiss him, not because he doesn’t want to – he would love more than all the heavens in the world to kiss him, but he doesn’t, because it’s something Aslan doesn’t want. And that’s okay. He’s content with that.

Eiji doesn’t need to kiss him to stay in love, and so he doesn’t. This gentle love is still there, and not once does Aslan pick up on the hopes that one day their lips would meet again. It’s not until a few months in when he finally says something about it, deep in the night when both of them should be long sleeping, yet neither of them have even closed their eyes.

“Eiji,” Aslan calls, his voice small, like he’s holding something back.

“I’m right here,” Eiji replies immediately, reaching a hand forward to gently rest on his shoulder. When Aslan turns off his side their eyes meet, and his sighs remind him of the windy nights in Cape Cod.

There is no panic written onto Aslan. There is only calm. “I want to kiss you.”

“Okay,” he says.

“But not tonight.” Aslan’s lips purse together, his tongue separating them for just a moment to lick on some moisture. “Not today.”

Eiji nods again. “Okay. That’s okay.”

It’s these next few days where the both of them are practically swimming in their own thoughts of _when._ When’s it going to be? Eiji never asks, knowing Aslan will approach the subject when he’s ready. But when is he ready? Is he not, yet, or is he already, and just waiting for the right time?

Finally, for once, Eiji decides on something that neither of them have touched on.

“Do you remember what you said to me a few nights ago,” Eiji’s voice is careful, as if his entire soul is treading on ice. He is not scared of the boy sitting across the seat, but he is absolutely _petrified_ of hurting him. “About kissing me.”

“I haven’t forgotten,” Aslan’s voice is skating, too, but in a different way. There’s a subject about it he’s avoiding. They both know this.

“I was just wondering,” Eiji’s voice loses volume as he mumbles, and that’s when finally he feels the couch shifting in weight.

“I just want to ask something, please,” Aslan’s voice is different than how Eiji has ever heard it before. It’s almost like a child asking a parent for permission or money. Perhaps an extra piece of candy. “Do you want to kiss me?”

Eiji answers honestly. “Of course.”

“Why do you want to?”

It’s a question that’s he’s never really had to think about. He wants to kiss him because he loves him. He wants to kiss him because he’s captivating. He wants to kiss him because he’s the best damn thing that’s ever happened to Eiji.

It seems he’s quiet about it for too long, before Aslan cuts to the blunt of it. “Am I a monster to you, Eiji?”

Eiji’s answer just as honest as it is immediate. “Of course not.”

“You couldn’t answer earlier.”

“I couldn’t think,” Eiji is still truthful, and Aslan knows this. He’s terrible at lying. They both are, to each other. “I couldn’t think of a proper answer for you.”

“Then tell me the improper,” he requests.

“Because I love you.”

He can almost _hear_ the lump suddenly caught in Aslan’s throat. “I love you too.”

With that, a silence fills the room with its own form of noise. Eiji doesn’t remove Aslan from his line of sight, but Aslan just takes a deep breath and leaves on his own. Eiji doesn’t follow after him, knowing that he prefers to keep quiet and go somewhere to be at peace when he cries.

The tears of the lynx are not from pain. They are from relief.

The following morning, they wake up within ten minutes of each other. A true rarity. Even so, it’s lovely, their arms practically glued to each other while they work their way around the kitchen together. They’re making food that they haven’t had in a long time, Aslan sipping on water with citrus squeezed in and then submerged with the ice.

Eiji doesn’t remember why he’s giggling, but he remembers the pure look of fondness in Aslan’s eyes and he has to stop what he’s doing for a moment and stare back and just smile through it.

“You know I love you, right?” He has to ask.

Eiji nods, a small bubble of concern growing in the pit of his stomach that something bad is happening, or going to happen, or _did_ happen, that Aslan is about to tell him about.

But no, instead, Aslan carefully brings his hands up on either side of his face and pushes his hair back, his face exposed to the open world and stale wind from the apartment window. Their eyes meet, and instead of words, Aslan just inhales sharply. Eiji just nods again, this time, a subtle, faint movement that doesn’t really apply as a nod. Instead, it’s more of faint vertical tremble, without any ounce of fear.

Eiji does not move as Aslan leans in, his face almost entirely red from the very idea that they’re going to be—

He barely has enough time to close his eyes when their lips touch, finally, delicately brushing together and creating wave after wave of tingles crashing all the way down Eiji’s neck. When they finally kiss to taste, both their eyes are closed, and Aslan can only recall how there is no taste to Eiji at all.

It’s a nice surprise, really. A pleasant change of pace. He cannot stand to remember the days where the only tastes in his mouth brought disgust and shame. Nothingness in all from Eiji is only a wonderful change from lust and sweat and smoke and wine and _skin—_

He has to pull away from a moment, needing to reach over to the counter side and grab his glass of water. He doesn’t allow Eiji to ask him if he’s okay. He’s trying to be. He takes three drinks to finish it like a baby and his bottle, before he turns back and kisses to taste again.

Aslan’s kisses, now, taste like a cool hint of lime.

And so with their kiss they stop time, their hearts beating on and forward as if they had only been alive for one summertime. It’s as if they had never been born into a past – and with just one kiss they are all who they are in each other’s lives. They are all who they need to be.

The kiss tattooed itself onto their hearts and souls like birthmarks onto one’s skin. It lingered there when they pulled away, it lingered there every time they’d kiss again, and it would continue to linger there when they wake up every morning.


End file.
